As I may have mentioned, when we put The Baby down to sleep, night or nap, we swaddle her and use a nuk. These have always worked fine, and because they're used almost universally by parents, we've never worried about it.
I'm starting to worry.
In the past, she didn't necessarily like to be swaddled, but she quickly made her peace with it and calmed down, usually without any kind of struggle. She struggles mightily and often vocally now. She even knows when it's coming. As soon as I lay her down on top of it, she scrunches her face up and starts to protest. And she's stronger now. I can't swaddle her tightly enough to keep her from working a hand or two up out the top, where it then proceeds to knock her nuk out. And therein lies the rub. When the time comes to unswaddle her for sleep, WHAT WILL SHE DO WITH HER HANDS? Right now they don't comfort her. She just knocks her nuk out and then tries to get both fists fully into her mouth. When she fails at that, it really pisses her off, so she tries even harder. If I put the nuk back in, she knocks it back out, so strong is the desire to get both hands into her mouth at once. If I time her sleep PERFECTLY, she falls asleep quickly enough that the nuk stays in and the hands stay swaddled, but the window of time during which she is perfectly tired is about three seconds (fuck you Dr. Weissbluth and your goddamn smug advice about timing) and I rarely hit it right. So the only solution now is to sit with my hand on her chest, holding her hands down, until she's asleep. Already I know this is not sustainable, and we're still swaddling her! What the fuck happens when we stop swaddling her?
Thanks for sharing your blog. I am not sure you want advice, (I know how unwelcome advice feels) but this post struck a chord in this mama. Not sure if you've seen baby bags/sacks...literally zip the buggers to their neck and it keeps arms and hands relatively immobilized in our experience. Our first hated swaddling and was too strong for his own good. Infact, until recently, he would violently retaliate when we covered him even after he was asleep with just a blanket...the bags helped him stay warm and keep the arms from flailing too much. I enjoyed reading your journey thus far. I am at home with the kiddos now...its been a week today since Nadeem went back to work. It's an everyday struggle man; just to stay afloat. Our first never cried..,and ate and slept like an old fat grandpa. Our newest is a 'regular baby.' And it's super hard to not beat myself up (or Nadeem for that matter) for getting frustrated. Hang in there my friend. We're here for you.
ReplyDeleteJust reading all of this now. I can verify that OH MY GOD I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Re: swaddling. You don't have to stop anytime soon (we swaddled Lib for six months, Evie for five) and we used the miracle blanket (google it - it's amazing) which keeps them burrito-ed nice and tightly.
ReplyDeleteWhen you stop swaddling, they start rolling on their bellies to sleep. And then they sleep wonderfully. It'll suck for a few nights, but if you've made it this far, you can get through anything. You made it through those first six weeks with no sleep and no smiles and no fun! PPD (or PND) is the worst, though, and makes it nearly impossible to see this. Unfortunately, I also know how that feels - for me, at least. Everyone is different. I hope your appointment goes really well. Hugs.