A good father would not lose his temper and yell at The Toddler when she spits milk all over the kitchen. Good fathers do not have tempers. Good fathers do not yell. Good fathers know that yelling is almost always the worst reaction to any given situation.
A good husband would not be resentful when The Wife wakes him at 4:00 a.m. to put The New Baby to sleep. A good husband would remember how hard his wife is working with The New Baby, and he would realize that he slept soundly from 10:30 p.m. until 4:00 a.m. and he was able to do that because The Wife was keeping The New Baby happy and full.
A good father and husband would not need to take a nap. A good father and husband would know everything that needs to be done around the house and he wouldn't rest until it was done. A good husband and father would remember that last night wasn't so bad, and he got good enough sleep to get him through the day without needing to nap.
A good father would not be terrified of being left alone with The Toddler and The New Baby. A good father would be prepared, would have a plan for every contingency, and would be able to execute his plan without misstep and without losing his cool.
A good father would not react to his toddler screaming at him. A good father would just roll with it. He would recognize that losing his cool or reacting in any way will just reinforce the behavior. A good father would know his toddler is just pushing his buttons, looking for a reaction, and he would be able to ignore it and give his toddler only positive attention to reinforce good behavior.
A good husband would take care of his wife who just a month ago endured a successful VBAC. He would anticipate her needs and give her what she wants without her asking. He would never be resentful if she did need to ask for something. A good husband would never put his own needs above her needs.
A good father would not miss his life without children so much. He would know that children are a blessing. He would know there are too many people out there deprived of that blessing, some of whom would probably be better parents than he. He would never make tasteless jokes about taking his kids to the fire station.
A good father and husband would not be threatened by his wife, who somehow never loses her temper, even with him when he loses his. He would appreciate that she seems so put together and top of herself rather than resenting her for it. He would never, ever, ever, take for granted that such an amazing woman chose to spend her life and raise her kids with him.
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